wow, i haven't written a blog since May 25th, well this'll be a long one, so i'll make up for it.
this year...i've learned a lot. things have happened this year that have never happened before. i fought with a friend and i'm most likely going to lose that person, but with the help of my other supportive friends and me finding myself, i've grown stronger. i think the whole thing was a big deal to me because it's something new and unknown. never have i been in a fight this long but then again never have i fallen for someone like him. but i've learned a lot and grown from this problem. i'm so much more confident and stronger, not that i lack in confidence, it's actually pretty high in me, i don't change myself for people, they can accept me the way i am. but i guess it's more of a decision i've made. i'm done chasing after people that don't want me, and i've realized in the process of this endless chase i've run past and almost forgotten the people that really love me the most. i am me, like it or not, you want to be my friend that's so amazing you won't regret it because i AM a good friend. i guess it's the one thing i'm good at, but if you don't want to be my friend i won't hate you, things don't workout that's fine we won't be friends, but don't expect me to chase you anymore. i'm done running, i'm staying in my spot and my arms are open to those that want me too.
i also learn a lot about my friends when reading their blogs, i have strong, deep friends. artists each and everyone of them. but sometimes all their talk of love and such seems like a heavy weight, we're teenagers, we're free, this is our time to have fun, be carefree, because adulthood is right next door waiting. this is our time and we're not going to get it back. we need to live it, embrace it, enjoy it while we can. love waits.
now for some outlook on my summer in Jordan:
i'm actually typing this blog in a gym, i love this gym. so. freaking. much. i want it, i wish i could bring it back home with me. i'm getting an amazing workout here. also, i'm watching Turkish shows (translated into arabic) they're really good and extremely addicting, they'd probably fall in the catagory of soap opera. turkish people are good looking. hahaha.
i feel really carefree and light here, maybe it's because there's no school or maybe because there's no culture stress. i don't have to fight with my parents to hold onto my american side, the thing is here they really don't care! my parents never comment on my clothes here and if i had worn them in the US they would have argued until i changed into something else. i don't even want to try to understand, i'm trying to just flow with this summer. i do hate that i'm missing all my friends and the adventures back home. i miss my room, my guitar, my friends...
funny here, i eat a lot less. maybe it's because of my new medication, but i'm glad i don't eat like a man on steroids anymore, it was starting to freak me out. and i'm really glad i have a fast...metabolism? not sure, when i workout i get results literally the next day, negative to that is when i stop working out it starts to show pretty quick.
now some quick updates?
-my wrists are sore
-i've been listening to Say Anything a lot, i think they're becoming my favorite band?
-i'm wearing a cute outfit todayyyy! excited for it, new clothes make my day.
-i'm ignoring the staring problem they have here, i can care less, keep staring, i have brothers as body gaurds ~can't touch this~
i think that's enough for now, i'm going to get up and get changed and go to the mall!
